Do you “do” the Easter Bunny hop?

Do you do the Easter Bunny hop? or the Santa Claus shuffle? or the Tooth Fairy tango? or any other seasonal sashaying?

If I tell a story about an egg-carrying rabbit AS IF IT WERE REAL then am I hitting my sweet spot as a parent?

What I want to offer as a parent is an accurate interpretation of the world to the best of my understanding and ability, to affirm by my daily choices of words and actions that what I reveal can be relied upon, trusted and accepted as truthful, useful, relevant information.

If I tell my child that a fairy will swap their fallen tooth for a coin then I have tricked them and leave them vulnerable to being laughed at by other adults, older kids, or their peers who have cracked the code already.

Even if it’s all in fun, it’s still a trick and so does not manifest my intention of being a trustworthy guide to, and interpreter of, the world they live in.

If I tell any of these stories to a child going through an anxious phase they may start to wonder who else can sneak into the house while they are asleep. Or what is written about them on Santa’s list and what will happen if others find out.

“AWWW! But what about all that fun?”

You can still have the fun, you can play it as a game. “Let’s pretend there’s a special rabbit who brings us all chocolate eggs at Easter.” You can leave the carrot out and make a nest for the eggs to be delivered to, or hide the eggs in the garden, enjoying the fun together as a make-believe game.

“They will spoil it for all the other kids!”

Each year when these seasonal games come up I simply say, “Some families like to pretend that this game is really true, so even though we know it’s just a game we don’t spoil their plan by saying that to their children.”

“You are inhibiting their imagination.”

It was never their imaginative creation in the first place! It is being told as a truth, by someone they trust, who knows it isn’t true.

Their own imagination might bring them rushing in from the garden bursting with news of dinosaurs or dryads, pixies or pirates who have set up base behind the swing set, then I get to dive into their game, both of us knowing that it is an imaginary world we are playing in together. I am not misusing my greater experience of the world to deceive them, however much fun that may seem to be.

When they tell me their made up stories they are inviting me to join them in their play world, they are not expecting me to believe it is real.

So what happens if I have told these stories as truths and then the child finds out? They may choose to disbelieve the person who has burst the bubble, they may demand an explanation from me, or–and this would be the worst outcome for my purposes–they may shelve the fantasy but say nothing to me because they now realise that not everything I have told them as truth can be relied on, and that is definitely not what I am aiming for as a parent.

I choose to play these seasonal fantasies only as games in our family, but of course, you have your own choices to make.

I would love to hear your comments about what matters to you and your family.